The Beauty of being His Masterpiece

My team and I are partnering with a church called New Heights Elbasan in Elbasan, Albania. Our ministry host, and the pastor of this church, has asked every one on my team to share a little something during church and I wanted to blog about what I shared (: this blog isn’t going to be about my time in Elbasan but will be instead a short testimony of mine. (But do not worry, I will post about Elbasan soon)

Striving:
I am the youngest in my family with 2 older brothers. My first memory is of my brothers playing in my home and I remember the deep ache of wanting to just be with them till this day. With that being said, they were easily my top role models as a kid and I desired to live up to them. Therefore, I worked hard to be the best athlete like my oldest brother and one of the smartest students like my other older brother. Senior year of high school, I realized that all my striving left me lost and uncertain. I did not know who the Lord created me to be and I wanted to strip myself of this false image I had created. To do this, I quit some of the things I was apart of, like volleyball. Although, with this, there came great loneliness because even my friendships changed and I truly felt quite lost in my life. As He always does, the Lord found me in this time and revealed to me how close he was to me in all my anxiety. I discovered that much of my anxiety came from my relentless striving. The story continues though. In college, out of desire to be seen and admired, I worked tirelessly pursuing my degree in computer science. Then, I became addicted to my physical health when COVID hit, striving to be in the best shape of my life. Finally, near the end of senior year of college, I realized all that I was striving for had no end. I would either never reach my goal or/and I would simply change that which I was striving towards. Plus, my goals were normally unattainable. All the things that I was striving for never satisfied my deepest desire, to KNOW my identity in God and what he created me to do. What I did in high school left me lost and uncertain of who the Lord created me to be. What I did in college caused me to continuously beat myself up because I was spending countless hours in pointless comparison to others. Finally, I realized who the Lord created me to be is different and beautiful. I was missing the Lords immense creativity when striving to be like others or to be the “best”. The Lord has made everyone different and unique; we are all God’s own and special masterpiece! Thankfully, in the Lord, we do not need to strive. We simply get to soak in his unconditional love and get to learn more about who he is and who he created us to be. By learning more about who God and Jesus are, you will begin to want to be more like Jesus every day. That is where real life and our truest selves are.

“‬You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place; carefully, skillfully you shaped me from nothing to something. Every single moment you are thinking of me! How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every thought! O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore! When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.” ~ Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭13‬-‭15‬, ‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭TPT‬