The Blessing

Disclaimer: highly recommend reading my blog before this one (“Break my heart for what breaks Yours”) before this one (aka they connected)

I sit here debating how honest I want to be about this whole process with yall…I am debating if it will bring more light to the situation or not. Yet, one thing I know about myself is that I am honest, almost to a fault. Therefore, I am going to let you guys into what was happening between the time that I wrote my last blog and the time that I visited the woman, Mary’s house again. In reference to my last blog, I felt called to reach out to you all and ask for your prayers and potential financial support for Mary. (Side note: Thank you to everyone that prayed for her and sent donations!! Means the world!) After publishing this blog and personally reaching out to some people, I felt consumed by thoughts of if I did the right thing. I wondered if this was the “right” thing to do or if what she needed was not money, but something else and I did not give Jesus enough time to tell me what it was. I was haunted by the thought of if I actually heard from the Lord in this. I wanted to love Mary in the best way possible and that is and will only be Jesus’s way. Jesus does not disable and I was worried I would just disable her if I were to give her the money she needed. This is a big topic I believe many people struggle with, especially on mission trips to poorer countries. If I technically have the money or could get it, why not  just solve the obvious problem? Makes a lot of sense! But, the more I pondered that question, the more I wondered if that is stepping into the role that the Lord is supposed to have. Was I taking away the opportunity for God to work? God knows everyone and knows what they need. I believe he talks to everyone and shows up to them in the way that is best for them. Therefore, I can not on my own power determine how to show up for people in situations like these. With all that being said, I did bring this situation to the Lord and felt peace in the decision I made. I believed the Lord would provide financially and that he wanted to…and HE SURE DID! Praise the Lord! He is so so good! 

This brings me to the blessing. My team only had a couple more days in San Antonio Agua Caliente and it was time for all the dreaded goodbyes. Thus, going to visit Mary was on my list of goodbyes and to give her the gift the Lord so graciously provided. Going into it, I did not expect the conversation to be long because only my team was able to go, meaning we only had four girls that spoke broken Spanish. I expected to go in, give her the gift, say goodbye and tell her how blessed I was to get to know her, then leave. BUT, in case you didn’t know, God is funny and changes your plans on a daily basis (you can make your plans all you want and God wants you to, but just do it with open hands). Mary so kindly welcomed us into her home, as women do in Guatemalan culture, and directed us to the most comfortable place in her home: one of the small packed rooms with two beds and clothing cabinets. Every time you walk into a Guatemalans home, they will give you their best even when they have next to nothing to offer. Cramped into this tiny room, we began to have small talk with Mary. Not long in, my teammates nudged me and encouraged me to tell Mary to open the gift. I was reluctant to have her open it because I didn’t want any part of this to come from my own pride, but I wanted all credit to go to God. That being said, I trust my team with my life and know they hear from the Holy Spirit, so I finally felt peace about having her open it up then. Inside the envelope was the money and a letter that had a couple words on it with the bible verse Numbers 6:24-25: “God bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.” I came to realize Mary did not read well, so I had the opportunity to read the letter and verse to her! God is so cool like that! I know He wanted her to hear those words and I am uncertain she would be able to fully understand the message if I did not read it for her. Before reading this, she took a quick glimpse into the envelope and broke into tears. The Holy Spirit fell down onto us at that moment. This moment is, as I have said once before and will say again, indescribable. Being in the presence of the Holy Spirit is one of the most beautiful and breathtaking experiences you could ever have! After some time, she got up and embraced me. Guys, God is SO COOL! I loved being able to love on her and show her the love of God and experience His love through her. Mary went on to tell us all about her daughter and what is going on; her daughter’s stitches got infected so we prayed over miraculous healing and quick recovery. Time flew past and next thing you know, two hours passed by! Wild!

It is really fun to see the ways the Lord is showing up! He is revealing himself in ways that I never expected him to, which constantly reminds me that I have put him in a box. I look forward to the future and seeing how he really does not fit in any sort of box. He is capable of EVERYTHING and to me, that is simply incomprehensible…got to love human limitations.

Please, friends and family, continue to pray for Mary’s daughter, as well as Mary herself and the rest of her family! Thank you!! God bless!